I’m gonna be real nice and save you $$hundreds of dollars$$ you would otherwise invest in a business training workshop (of which, I have been to several). I introduce to you the concept of SMART goals.
Goals are supposed to be SMART. That’s what makes them work. What does smart mean, though, and how can you put SMART goals into practice in your life to achieve all of your dreams?
Now let’s put these bad boys (or girls, or non-binaries, or trans or any other applicable pronoun) to work:
- Specific: I’m going to find the exact cannabis strain and dosage that will reveal to me the true purpose and meaning of life
- Measurable: I will measure the amount I ingest and ensure it’s adequate for the cause.
- Attainable: It is achievable, through dedicated research and commitment to the scientific method and the sticky icky.
- Relevant: I think it’s highly reasonable to treat my brain as an experiment for human evolution. Don’t you?
- Time-Based: what better time has there been to find purpose in life than right now? The answer cometh soon, I swear by all that is glittery!
Oh, and I’m gonna have 50k subscribers by July 1, 2021. If you’d tell your friends about me, that is….
If I DO meet my goals, I may have enough $$money$$ for a new bathtub. Or a fancy new “wellness toilet” that analyzes your “samples” as you find relief and sends personalized recommendations for your health. Oh, and differentiates between users via “butthole recognition.” I’m not making this up…
If I DON’T meet my goals, I will either continue my efforts or rage quit (my youngest taught me that term).
So what is my end goal for finding the meaning of life, I wonder? Is it to put off senescence? (That’s a fancy word that basically boils down to biologically aging.)
So am I seeking these answers to stave off getting old and dying? Looking for the ultimate fountain of youth like a modern-day Tomb Raider of the Lost Ark?
Or do I just want a “killer bod” like Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her? Maybe I’m not ready to answer those questions yet.
The definition of the word senescence goes on to say that it is the inevitable fate of all multi-cellular organisms. Damn, togetherness really is hard-wired in us, huh? Apparently, we ride together and we die together.
All my damned cells are turning against me; this is some bullshittery. Would I really want to live forever, though, if I can’t ALSO grow wings and fly? The literature’s answer is for all the cells to work together on living peacefully so that they can thrive. Science is weird, how it proves logic and all…
Oh boy, I’m coming to the end of my Nasty Jack’s supply. This is a bunch of horseshit petunias. Time to go shopping.
Do svidanya!
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