#26-Of course I accept all of your cookies 🍪. What am I, some kind of monster??!!

A friend of mine had a funny saying and picture in the bathroom of his studio apartment in 2001 that went like this: “Confucius say: he who stands on toilet is high on pot.” I saw that thing every time I had to drain the Va-Jane and it always made me smile.

I’ve heard the terms “Confucius” and “Confucianism” before, but that was the extent of my knowledge about the subject until this last week when I did a butt-load of research on it for you, reader. I watched like three 5-minute YouTube videos and read part of an article before I got bored, so I’m basically the best person there is to educate you about this Ancient East Asian religion that is still practiced by some today. 😝

(always fact-check your sources, kids. I’m typically full of 💩)

OK so here’s what I vaguely remember in sophisticated stoner summary:

Confucius was a righteous man and is credited with the creation of the golden rule “do not do unto others what you don’t want done to yourself.”

I am so down with that wholesomeness and lack of hypocrisy.

Some of the principles he taught were:

I am also down with most of that-in theory. He quite obviously believed in the importance of roles and responsibilities amongst all humans. If you were the boss, you were the boss, if you were the subordinate you were the subordinate, If you have to take visitors temperature and ask them about diarrhea every week, you were that person, etc.

A place for everyone and everyone in their place?

I stray from buying in right around this point. Where’s the room for growth and transition? The best teachers were once students, shouldn’t everyone have their fair shot at trying something different? I got intentionally distracted as it continued with something about the “man’s” place in the home…

There is a lot about how to treat your parents in all ages and stages and even sacrifice for them once they’ve passed on. I can dig it! And benevolence; who couldn’t admire that goal? I’m not feeling like this leads to my answer about the meaning of life, but I can certainly respect the man and most of his beliefs. This ignorant pothead gives Confucius two and a half 👍🏻 thumbs up.

My Auntie Josephine only has half a thumb. She lost the other half texting a bunch of congressman back in 2018 trying to legalize powdered elk testicles for medicinal use.

Tragic.

Well that’s one more prospect thoroughly examined, reader, stay tuned for the next!

…..By the way, I discovered I did NOT have to have an active prescription to purchase some sweet cannabis inhalers. I just had to drive to a dispensary an hour and a half away…I’m impressed with the packaging, delivery, and even the taste but I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone with a sensitive throat. It’s a bit too harsh on the lungs for me, matey. 🏴‍☠️

I guess my search for pansy-ass ingestion methods of this miracle-maker will have to continue.

Ma’a as-salaama!

P. S.-

**In my quest to be a better Earthling (while also being a gullible consumer), I saw a Facebook ad about these sweet ass flat laundry sheets that cut way back on plastic and are all natural and what not. I ordered two. I feel more ecologically responsible already. And the ladybug I chatted with a bit ago agreed with me, I basically just saved the planet.