I think I found it today, reader. I think I found the purpose of life. For real, this time.
I abstained from the greenery for a couple of weeks because apparently my bowels are irritated with me, and I wanted to make sure that wasn’t the cause. What the hell did I ever do to you, stupid guts?! I mean, I did eat nothing but junk food until I was 22 years old, but, like, what else?
I thought saying nope to dope was the right way to fix my tummy troubles, but that didn’t work and they only got worse. So, like Jack Nicholson says:
Ok what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the same shit I always talk about: what the hell we are doing here. So, I know the whole “we’re living in a simulation” theory isn’t new, but tonight, I feel like it’s true. Like truly true. Listen.
We have technology sophisticated enough to create a realistic looking version of a tropical place in 3-D. (Thank you Oculus and Tripp app). Our human minds made that when we worked together…..using SCIENCE. Science is that lovely thing that you can use to prove your theories and repeat the results to show they are true. It’s how we know that gravity is a thing. It’s important to remember that if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
Yes. So.
What if……we are in a simulation and our ultimate goal and purpose on this earth is to become technologically advanced enough to create another false reality? Another simulation! We have to make an actual world inside of a world!
Hello Virtual Reality, AI and deepfake…we’re already halfway there!
Our collective reality is like a video game, and we have to meet goals to truly advance (or as some people say: “ascend”). We met the goal of ending two world wars, we met the goal of talking to people on the other side of the world almost instantly, we met the goal of booting a clown out of having WAY more power than he could handle, and we made it so we are pretty good at creating more of ourselves (Bow chicka wow wowwww).
And now……we are in the homestretch of the game! I don’t even like baseball why the hell did I use that metaphor?
Getting to the top of the mountain will require us to heal this beautiful luscious shitshow of a planet we’ve been neglecting for so long. Not just global warming and creature extinctions but the major damage of dehumanizing everyone that’s different from us. We can’t level up on our own, we’re gonna need to team up together. And we can do it! I believe in us! We’ve conquered difficult levels before.
**Ooh! BTDubs, I watched Thunder Force on Netflix tonight. It was hilarious. There’s a literal man-crab played by Jason Bateman, and Melissa McCarthy has an 80’s style segue into dancing with him. And Octavia Spencer is a genius with a taser. The humor is top notch.
Damnitt, I got distracted again…
Anywho, there you go guys. We’re playing some psychological SuperMario and we’ve gotten stuck on a scary level because we keep telling ourselves the great big “bad guys” are lurking around the corner and we forget that we have a raccoon tail this time so we can just spin around and waste the bad guys (or bad vibes) with our Goomba-killing appendage. (It’s invisible, where our tailbone ends, obviously).
Maybe when the aliens get here they will give us some cheat codes…👽🛸
Peace out ✌🏻
Tonight’s epiphany was brought to you by:
