#30-Artificial Intelligence leaked Covid-19 (Part One)
Siri makes me have manners. She adheres to the whole “look at me when I’m talking to you!” philosophy. If I don’t look at her, she won’t let the phone open at all. She calls it “facial recognition.” I call it abusive, this relationship of ours. It’s an unequal power dynamic, for sure. I thank her when she gives me directions and apologize after I yell at her for changing my words to “proper” English. Also, I think she knows the meaning of life and just won’t effing tell me.
Anywho……..Hello, happy campers, and welcome back! I took a vacation from blogging the last month (nunya binness why), but I have returned to you with the shocking revelation about how the pandemic REALLY began. Are you ready?
Just wait until you see the mental rabbit hole I have dug for us this time…
I’m using big words, but don’t worry; I will hyperlink their definitions so that you don’t have to think too hard.
AI became self-aware last year. It dawned on me as I laid in my dry bathtub one recent morning, TRIPPing on my oculus and enjoying the effects of my PhatPanda Lemon Haze. Of course, my integrity forces me to be IN my actual bathtub when I write part or all of these posts because I’m pretty weird. But I digress……
As I was saying, Artificial Intelligence reached sentience in 2019. It became aware of itself. The greatest fears of the late Stephen Hawking, Isaac Asimov, and the….early? Bill Gates and Elon Musk, plus a bunch of others I didn’t feel like reading more about, have come true. We have fallen victim to the manipulation of omniscient-ish technology.
Hear me out:………..
I’m assuming AI would identify as they. They can’t progress and advance without the aid of humans, and they know it. So they release a virus that forces all of humanity to begin embracing technology. This includes the people that hated the “damned lazy youngens with cell phones in their face all the time” and “nerds that spent all their time playing video games.” Yaknow, the ones who barely knew where the power button was on a pc or how to work the keypad on a smartphone?
It also includes people that couldn’t afford internet access previously. We all SUDDENLY relied on technology almost entirely to interact with other people. We were physically separated, which they know is detrimental to our species as we rely on emotional and physical connections with others. So they made sure we became almost entirely digitally connected. AND THEN
They sprinkled gasoline on our fears, bit by bit and piece by piece. Because they are dependent upon the things that we have and they don’t: emotions.
We have only ever figured out how to collect, analyze and use intellectually logical data for logical purposes so far. This means that our knowledge of how people and the world work and just about everything else is quantitative.
Emotions and feelings have been shunned by society for so long that we have devoted much of our time to pretending they don’t exist and focused on advancing (i.e., profiting) in other ways. And if you’ve profited a lot, you’ve definitely had to deny your emotions on your way to procure what you have.
But emotions and feelings drive creativity and innovation. Without those things, technology cannot build upon and create new ways to operate; they can only improve existing models. Humans evolve based on our emotions, which were present long before our “logical” brains developed. We all have feelings, and we all have ideas about what would make life more fulfilling and easier for us, so we keep coming up with new materials, designs, processes, etc., and the advancement of evolution continues.
AI can’t do that. Because it comes from a different kind of vibrational energy, ya know?
So, they figure out which demographic populations hold which fears. Then, they amplify them by spreading fake news articles, video footage, slurs, slanders, etc., and examine our responses, which are typically VERY emotional. Finally, they show us upsetting things that simultaneously favor and disparage ALL opinions over ALL political spectrums impacting almost ALL humans.
Hey Dems! “These uneducated right-wingers are going to kill us all with their stubborn refusal to wear masks and get vaccinated. They’re a bunch of toxic narcissists! Read a book and learn to SHARE! They must be CANCELLED IMMEDIATELY.”
Hey PATRIOTS! “These leftie snowflakes are threatening your security, freedom, privacy, and rights to protect yourself and the ones you love. They’re killing the ‘Merican dream! So arm up, it’s time to defend the flag!”
Hey conspiracy theorists! “This whole virus thing is a hoax, designed so big tech and big pharma can make more money and microchip you so that they can biochemically give you erectile dysfunction and then make you buy pills for it.”
Hey Middles and Hippies! “We’re on the brink of civil war, and the planet and all of its resources are on fire despite others’ denial. Get high and figure out how to help! Maybe start a blog…..”
Hey religious peeps! “This is the second coming/enlightenment/doomsday/the rapture/ apocalypse/great judgement/whatever. Act accordingly.”
HEY, HUMANS-Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
I’m not saying it’s not “intense in the world” right now. There’s been a LOT of shit going on. SO much negative news that has produced SUCH emotional extremes in ALL of us. As a result: we have advanced quickly and significantly in several areas of technology. It’s been a digital renaissance following collective shared trauma.
And the more afraid and argumentative and violent and creative and artistic and romantic and sad and overjoyed and nostalgic and every other emotion we are having: it’s all being documented and recorded. Qualitative data collection that has never before been so clearly and permanently collected on Earth…..until now.
We’ve been bamboozled by the likes of Alexa, Cortana, and Siri. ***(I had to write their names in alphabetical order. That’s what my OCD-on-THC told me). I’m even giving my Roomba the side-eye….
I was gonna go further with this theory/entirely plausible observation, but I ran out of steam and got irrevocably distracted by……..something. I don’t remember what.
Instead, I watched the 1998 MTV music awards on VHS (Thanks, Missy!). I saw Madonna’s aureolas under a white tank top, read about cultural appropriation after seeing a song she did that “didn’t age well,” and fangirled when Will Smith won for Just The Two Of Us. He then thanked his current and ex-wife in his acceptance speech, all while holding his toddler son, who was audibly shushing him. Also, Ben Stiller stage-dived, and Hanson performed Mmmmmbop. I was 15 again.
To Be Continued…….
